Work vs. Prison
Life in prison versus a full time job
In prison they spend the majority of their time in a 8' x 10'cell. At work, I spend most of my time in a 6' x 8' pod.
In prison they get three meals a day. At work I only get a break for one meal and I have to pay for that one.
In prison you get time off for good behavior. At work I get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
At work I must wear an ID badge at all times. In prison they provide you with clothing with the ID conveniently sewn onto the clothes.
At work there is a dress standard but I must buy my own clothes. In prison there is a dress standard, but they supply the clothes.
At work I must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors myself. In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for me.
In prison they can watch TV and play games. At work I can get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison they will pay my way through school to learn a new career and give me time to do it. At work they will pay for my education but I must do it on my own time.
In prison they have exercise rooms that they allow you to use almost whenever you want. At work we have an exercise room that you can use but it must be on your time.
In prison I can fall asleep on the job and no serious consequences comes from my actions. At work if I fall asleep on the job I get put on the next RIF list.
In prison they ball and chain you when you go somewhere. At work you are just ball and chained.
In prison you have full medical coverage with no deductibles. At work, you get partial coverage and pay all the deductibles.
In prison all expenses are paid by the tax payer, with no work on their part. At work, you get to pay all the expenses to go to work, and then deduct the taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.
fishing (n.) a jerk on one end of the line waiting for a jerk on the other end.